Fashion

I love fashion. The ideas, colours, textures, opportunities for self expression...the whole medium appeals to me for its creativity and frivolity. But while I may enjoy the drama of design, my low bullshit tolerance keeps me critical of the fashion world, and my practicality (and frugality) make me unwilling and unable to buy into much of what it's trying to sell me.

For example, when I hear billionaire designers pontificating about their importance in the world, I can't help but laugh. Bitch, please - designing clothes mass-produced under horrifying conditions in off-shore sweatshops is not exactly Mother Teresa-eque behaviour. Kindly remove your head from your ass and get on with your day.

But, here's the obvious issue with that reaction: As someone who wears clothes everyday - sometimes even more than one outfit - I am an active participant in the process. Having not yet mastered the ability to make my own clothes, I do need those self-important virtuosos to (literally) cover my ass.


I love to invest in quality vintage and/or classic pieces I can easily see myself using over and over again for decades to come. But when I talk about "investing," I'm not talking about throwing down the kind of money for a handbag that I did for tuition. (FYI - a $20,000 Birkin bag is more than I paid for my university education at a world-class institution, a fact which turns my stomach. I hope it turns yours, too.)

The most expensive piece of clothing I own cost less than $300 (on super-duper sale), while the most expensive piece of jewellery I own cost $400 (and is worth about $100-200 more). To me, those sums still represent a TON of money and major splurges, but in the (developed) world of fashion, they're a drop in the bucket.

Why?

I am continually shocked and appalled by what some people are willing to spend on their "wants," and the justifications they offer when so doing. (Which, I believe, speaks to the idea that deep down, they know they're not making the best possible choice.) The argument I find particularly disturbing in this regard is when someone claims to "deserve" some item which is clearly inconsequential to their daily survival.

How, exactly, do you come to "deserve" a $20,000 handbag? What are the criteria employed in determining whether someone "deserves" an item of such grandiose expense?

For those of you out there who feel you "deserve" a $20,000 handbag, how would you make a determination as to what others in this world "deserve" as compared to you? For example, is a single parent who works two jobs to support their kids but still can't make ends meet less deserving than you are of owning something s/he really desires? What about the 9-months-pregnant mother in rural Rwanda who's out in the fields working from dawn to dusk just to put some food on the table? (If you think the latter is simply a made-up example to tug at your heartstrings and underscore my point, trust me, she's not - I've seen her firsthand.)

How can anyone look at those examples and think they aren't deserving of some luxury and self-indulgence? And yet, you will never see them storming the counter of Hermès!

Fashion is fun. But when serious money is thrown down to simply keep you from walking around naked, I think we'd do well to remember how many people in this world could benefit from some help.

Don't they deserve it?

Celebrity Gossip & Reality TV

My interest in the antics of stars and starlets (and total wannabees) began when I moved to the mecca of all things celebrity, the United States of America. Prior to that, I think I had a healthy level of knowledge about actors - mostly what country they were from, and what projects they had worked on over the course of their careers. I guess I also had a handle on who the hot celebrity couples were, because that knowledge was simply unavoidable.

Things changed when I moved to the States. I blame boredom, really. I went to graduate school in a really small town in the middle of the rural Midwest - my own personal hell. I love nature, but this was not summer camp or a nice holiday. The bottom line is this: If I have to live somewhere for an extended period of time (i.e. a year or more), it has to be urban. That's just who I am. 

I've previously mentioned that my grad program was also very small, so I saw a LOT of my classmates. That was cool for the most part, but I also needed an escape of my own - a quiet place to retreat to and just veg out. Sadly, I found myself plopped down on the couch in front E! and Style. If you had said the name "Ryan Seacrest" to me in June of 2006, I would have had absolutely no idea who you were talking about. Now I know all kinds of random shit about the guy, as well as many of his colleagues. Why? I don't care about any of them; they've not enriched my life in one single way. And yet...this is where I am.

I don't remember which reality TV show sucked me in first. It might have been The Hills. I think I was turned onto it by some American friends, and we used to watch it together and laugh. That felt ok - we weren't engaging with the characters, we were making fun of them. Totally safe. Right? Wrong. The Hills was like a gateway drug for The City, and then Kell on Earth. One spin off begat the next spin off. At some point I became aware of the Real Housewives franchise, and became a fan of the New York crew. Sure, they were superficial and ridiculous, but at least they had jobs. Well, for the most part - I still don't understand what the "Countess" does all day (other than look down on other people). RHONYC led to Bethenny Getting Married? And Bethenny Ever After. I also started watching the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I don't watch all of the others on a regular basis, but I have definitely seen an episode or two of them all (except the Orange County one - I can't stand the look of those gals. It's like Madam Tussauds come to life. Yeck).

Are you nauseous yet? It gets worse. E! News. I used to watch E! News followed by The Daily 10 before it was axed and E! News went to a 60-minute format. Fashion Police. (I looooooove Joan Rivers.) How Do I Look? Ohhhh - What Not to Wear. THAT I have been watching FOREVER and will never give up. I even watch the original British version (which may be the only example I can think of in regards to something the Yanks stole and actually made BETTER). What else...Project Runway, another fabulous show I will always love. The Voice. X Factor (which I may never watch again, but we'll see). An Idiot Abroad. It goes on.

The only redeeming thing about my reality show tendencies (if there is one at all) is that I do have standards.  NO Kardashians (YUCK!!!), Jersey Shore (thoroughly disgusting), Celebrity Rehab, or people eating disgusting things.

Moving to Australia has been very helpful in breaking these addictions, I must say. We just get the basic television channels, and none of them broadcast this shit. Excellent. But, now I'm completely obsessed with My Kitchen Rules, and can't wait for the next season of The Block to begin. One thing for another...

One thing I haven't given up since moving here, and which is directly related to my time in the States, is celebrity gossip. Sure, most people glance at the headlines when they're waiting in line at the shops, or maybe even pop open the cover and have a browse, but when you find yourself looking at each mag disdainfully because their hot new headline is SO three days ago, you know you have a problem.

This I can trace back to a single person. He encouraged me to start reading people.com, etc. I'm not sure how, but at some point I discovered thesuperficial.com, which I still find wildly entertaining. But really, this obsession has to stop.

It used to be all in good fun. It's "light" news - completely frivolous, a nice escape from the doom and gloom of the real news (which, as a journalist, I follow daily). But then I noticed that some of these sites were allowing readers to leave comments (as has become the standard for legitimate news items as well), and I discovered how truly shocking and depraved people in the first world are. The comments are unfailingly negative, and just dripping with malice. Even something as light as a pregnancy announcement is seen as fair game for viscous attack. It really brings out the worst in people.

A logical person would just stop reading the comments. But I can't. It's too tempting. Especially when it's a story about someone I really can't stand (Jessica Simpson, the Kardashians, Paris Hilton, etc.). I LOVED what Jon Hamm had to say about "fucking idiots" being rewarded in America's celebrity-obsessed society. I couldn't agree more!! And yet, I'm part of the problem because I watch the shows and go to the websites. I'm a willing contributor to something I claim to hate!

The bottom line is, "celebrity" gossip used to be a fun and light activity to engage in, but now it's crossed the line. It seems mean now, and that's the last thing I need/want in my life. So while Facebook and Pinterest can stay, I think this is an area of my personal inventory which needs a serious overhaul.

What are your online vices, and what do they really bring to your life? Is there anything you really feel it's time to let go of?

Pinterest: The Ultimate TimeSuck

I've been on Pinterest for three or four weeks now. My obsession was instantaneous. What can I say - it came along at a time when I've found myself with fuck all to do, and a stable Internet connection.

I didn't really understand it at first, despite my friend's explanation. She was right about one thing, however - once you start, it's hard to stop.

Here's why I feel it's a benefit to me: I've learned an incredible amount in a short period of time. It's really incredible to see what other people have come up with to address problems/make life easier. It's inspiring. I'm really enjoying being a part of a community which shares ideas in a positive way. Is there a lot of stuff on there with absolutely no relevance to my life? You bet. But there's also a lot of great stuff I never would have thought of on my own.

I think one of the major benefits of Pinterest in our current situation is that we're right on the verge of setting up our lives. We don't own pots and pans, dishes, storage containers, furniture, or even hangers for our closets. We have clothing. My partner has thousands of records and an Ikea bookshelf to house them. I just bought an Ikea bookshelf of my own for shoes and handbags. But that's really it, save some paintings from Uganda and Egypt, some painted tin and carved wooden animals from Botswana, Zimbabwe, Malawi, Kenya and Rwanda, and a blanket and some light fixtures from Morocco. (All of which fit into a single box.) We have two sets of sheets in different sizes, but no bed.

Basically, we're starting from scratch. So, unlike 99% of users who seem pretty settled in, we have the opportunity to do whatever we want...within reason, and according to our budget. But that's one of the beautiful things about Pinterest - there seems to be a DIY element to EVERYTHING! It's a frugalistas dream come true.

An unexpected benefit of Pinterest is that it has significantly reduced my desire to purchase things. I believe I've mentioned previously that I absolutely love fashion, so to me, it would be a logical reaction to want to shop more when part of a network in which people can post photos of their favourite clothing and accessories. But I've actually found the opposite to be true. I feel thoroughly satisfied just to look at what's out there. It's like window shopping on speed - you're inundated with new looks and ideas which you can quickly skim through. But there's no end. The pins just keep coming in from all over the world, day and night, and you can look at as many or as few as you like. Brilliant.

So, I think my online Pinterest addiction has been helpful thus far. It's given me lots of ideas I'm planning to implement as we set up house, and it's curtailed my urge to shop. It's not taking time away from things I should be doing, yet it's helping to pass the time as we await the next step. I find it a lot more fulfilling than some of my other online vices (which I'll discuss next), and it's a thoroughly positive experience. I'm learning. It stimulates my brain.

I just hope I'll be able to go cold turkey once the new job begins. ;)

Facebook: Friend, or Foe?

What is it about Facebook that keeps me coming back for more? I honestly don't know. There's an element of exposure Facebook creates which makes me incredibly uncomfortable. I don't want the whole world up in my business...and yet, I want to be able to share photos and memories with people who matter to me.

I think the "mattering" element is the hardest for me where social media is concerned. When I first logged on to Facebook (immediately following my last exam as an undergraduate), it was all about adding everyone I had ever known in my entire life. People who disappeared after elementary school, old teachers, people I knew from various summer camps and activities, random people I'd met one time at the bar or through friends. The only criteria I had was that I actually had to know the person - no accepted friend requests from complete strangers here!

From the beginning I wasn't really worried about the Facebook phenom because I didn't have anything to hide. Having worked in leadership positions all through university, I wasn't stupid enough to post anything scandalous, or to put myself in situations where something I said or did would be newsworthy within my Facebook circle. I believe one of the major contributing factors to my generally positive experience with Facebook is the simple fact of when I signed on - after undergrad was already finished. The work was done, the hard yards were over - everyone was excited for summer and the next chapter beyond. Facebook became a way to keep our tight-knit community alive as several of my close friends and I left Canada in search of new adventures. It helped us keep track of each other, and reminded us that no matter where we were in the world, there were people who were invested in us. Ah, the good old days. I feel for my younger cousins who - along with their friends - seem to use Facebook solely as a means to perpetuate cruelty and gossip. The things they say to each other - and the appalling lack of spelling and grammar employed in so doing - are truly disgusting. It makes me wonder if kids these days even understand what it means to have friends! From what I've seen, Facebook has been detrimental to the junior high/high school experience, because it does nothing more than allow gossip to travel at rates previously unheard of. And with pictures. It's just so messy and needlessly cruel...I really loathe it.


In grad school, Facebook became a constant in my life. I was living in the States, 15 or more hours away from my family, and missing Canada terribly. Being stuck in an uber conservative, impossibly small town was killing me, but when I was on Facebook, I felt like I was back in the big city with all of my friends. In my new reality, being able to create events and invite people en masse was incredibly helpful. No more calling around to make sure everyone knew the plan - everyone was on their Facebook 24/7, so that became the easiest way to communicate to multiple people at once. Unfortunately, the euphoria of Facebook as a great means of communication soon began to dissipate as I began to discover the inevitable obligations and expectations of putting your friendships in the public realm. This is the crux of why I have come to hate Facebook.

I am not a person who believes we are meant to keep every single friend we ever make. In the normal course of life (prior to social media applications like Facebook), it was natural to part ways with people as your lives went in different directions. When you stopped having things to talk about, you stopped talking. You both moved forward, made other friends, and lived your lives. No hard feelings.

Not so with Facebook.

At the height of my "friending" on Facebook, I had over 1,000 peeps, all of whom I legitimately knew. (Trust me - I had details listed for each one, and as the ability to group people came into play, everyone was sorted into a category of some description.) Here's where things got tricky; while I did know every single person on my list, I didn't necessarily like every person on my list. Or, if that wasn't the case, maybe I knew someone but didn't think it was necessary to give them voyeuristic access to my innermost thoughts (status updates), romantic life, photos, and other friends. It got to the point where every time I went to post something, I felt like I was climbing up onto a stage in front of 1,000 people and yelling "Excuse me, everybody - I have something to say!" Now, if I had actually had to do that - go up onto a stage, I mean - in order to update my status, would I have done it? Fuck no. But ostensibly, that's what I was doing each time I completed the line "Audrey Maple is..."

The negative feelings I had about this felt counter-intuitive. I got Facebook to keep in touch with people I cared about and communicate my experience, but all of the sudden I felt like those people were judging everything I had to say. I literally felt like each status update was akin to someone shining a huge spotlight down on me. Who wants that stress and drama? Not me. The solution seemed simple enough. Give up Facebook? Hardly. Start deleting people!

With a few rare exceptions, the people I have deleted from my Facebook I genuinely like; they just aren't people I could see myself working to maintain a relationship with. (Which, ironically, is sort of what Facebook is all about anyway. How many people on your friend list do you actually communicate with in order to find out what they're up to? Probably not as many as you think. By catching someone's status updates and trolling their page/timeline, you can often find all of the information you're looking for, no conversation required) Before Facebook, we would have just gone our separate ways without issue. But now that everyone else can see how many friends you had and who they are, the process of adding and deleting people becomes another opportunity for unwarranted drama.

For example: my graduate school program was very small. I think there were 23 of us. We took all of the same classes together for two years, and many of us worked together as well. As I'm sure you can imagine, a small group like that, together so often, banished to a little shit town in the middle of nowhere...it was an awkward situation waiting to happen. But add to it the ability for people to know who was friends with whom and what everyone else was doing...that made things downright complicated. I personally felt obligated to have every member of the cohort on Facebook, whether I liked them or not, while we were in school together (if for no other reason than to avoid the drama other people would stir up). That sucked. I didn't want to be mean, rude, or exclusionary towards anyone, but I also didn't want people I didn't like/feel close to to have so much access to me. (Especially when there was at least one person in the group who was developing a reputation as someone who would use anything and everything she could to elevate herself above you in the eyes of authority.) Once we graduated, I started deleting the people I wasn't close with. But you know what? In the four years since we graduated, every time I have seen someone from the cohort I have been genuinely interested to hear what they've been up to and how they are. Now, isn't that better than having them on my Facebook out of some perverse sense of obligation?

Grad school was nothing compared to the complexities of Facebook in the professional working world. What do you do when your supervisor's supervisor, whom you really don't like (personally or professionally), wants to friend you on Facebook? I deny the request, but I certainly have friends and colleagues who don't (which also affects me because it adds an element of censorship to our interactions online which I'm not interested in). It also breeds drama because it makes it easier to catch people being deceitful, like when so and so calls in sick and then posts photos of her great day off at the beach. Or when a colleague constantly belittles someone to you but then outwardly praises them on Facebook. It makes me furious, and has actually caused several of my "real" friendships to end, not just those on Facebook. (I guess the upside is that at least I learned the truth before it happened to me. Still, not very satisfying.)

Another complicated element is the issue of your partner's friends. Some of my partner's friends have added me to Facebook, regardless of whether we've actually met. I appreciate the gesture, but I also think "Why?"  I don't like the feeling of obligation that comes with those requests. I don't want to be rude, but...we're not friends. And at this stage, my Facebook is reserved for my real friends and family; the people whom I make an effort to see (and vice versa). The people who have a vested interest in who I am and what I'm about. People who don't know me aren't invested in me. They may be invested in my partner, but not me. And you know what? That's ok!!! We're individuals - we don't have to have all of the same friends! Sure, it makes life easier if we all know each other and go out together, but in my experience, all of my partner's friends who have added me on Facebook have then proceeded to ignore me. What's the message there? I'm not into the illusion of frienship which has become so pervasive in our culture. We don't need to be friends with everyone - just respectful and polite to all. Let's keep Facebook for our real friends so it doesn't become another unwanted source of drama and stress in our lives. I shouldn't feel obligated to be "friends" with someone, and they shouldn't feel obligated to be "friends" with me. Let's just continue to live our lives...in peace.

So, that's why I now have a love-hate relationship with Facebook. Love it to keep in touch with family and friends oversees; hate feeling obligated to add/keep people who I'm really not close to. So, how does this factor into the personal inventory I'm undertaking with Every Last Feather? Simple: there is a real, valid reason why I stay on Facebook - it affords me the opportunity to keep in touch with people I love and care about in a quick and easy way. That's it. So, anything that stands in the way of my ability to achieve these outcomes has to go. For me, that means constantly, consciously inventorying my friend list, and really seriously considering the type of access I allow, and to whom. If I feel like I'm being judged, I ask myself why - is it because I'm saying/doing something I inherently know is wrong or unkind, or is it because I don't have the support of someone out there in Facebook land? If the latter, it's as simple as clicking a mouse. At the end of the day, I don't have the time or energy to devote to Facebook politics. I just want to get on with my life.

The "Crap List"

I've previously mentioned my affinity for financial guru Gail Vaz-Oxlade (bless her heart). In that vein, I came across a blog post she had written in January which I thought was incredibly insightful. Titled "Reduce Your Stress," Gail delves into a concept which she calls the "Crap List." Essentially, a CL is a personal inventory of the people and things in your life which cause you unneeded stress. We all have them. A friendship you've outgrown but can't quite relinquish, items of clothing in your closet that you never wear but can't seem to part with, an activity you really don't enjoy but feel obligated to continue...

Sound familiar?

There are other items to be added to the CL, too; personal qualities, bad habits. Chronic lateness. Smoking. Watching crappy TV. Wasting money. It all applies.

Take a few minutes to compile your basic list. (This will be ongoing - trust me.) Once that's done, the question to ask yourself is: what am I going to change in order to eliminate these stressors from my life? Notice the italicized I? Yup. This has to be about what you are willing to do, because as we're all aware at this point, we can't change anyone else. (Influence them by the way we interact and communicate with them, sure - we all need to learn to articulate our needs so that others understand what the criteria are for remaining in our lives.)

I think the number one item on my CL is social media. More specifically, that dreaded social experiment/obsession, Facebook. Let's tackle that one now, shall we?

No more excuses

A big international move is stressful business. Even more so, perhaps, when the move is followed immediately by an intense period of...nothing. That's where I/we've been since my arrival in Australia on February 2. I have a great new job lined up in a city we can't wait to live in, but, seeing as how I'm Canadian, I need that magical little visa in order to start. And, as I'm sure you can imagine, these visa things take time. Lots of time. So, after a great stretch of travel followed by catching up with the family in Canada, we've now ground to a complete halt whilst we await the next step of the paperwork mountain known as the visa process.

Now, in some ways this downtime could be seen as a dream. We have the time and space to exercise, write, read, explore new hobbies, see family...but here's the truth I've come to realise: when faced with the kind of time to just "be" that I had so longed for during the rough patches at work, I have swung from one extreme to the other. My "normal" state is somewhat manic - I thrive in situations where there is a lot going on and I'm forced to balance competing priorities. Left to my own devices, however, with no expectations or responsibilities...I'm pretty lazy. I don't have the drive/desire to go out and do the things I always thought I would if I had more time. I'm content to sit on the couch and watch the type of shit TV I always made fun of while living in North America. (i.e. Dr. Phil, The View, and Judge Judy. See - I told you it was shit.) Go figure.

At different stages in the last few months I've justified my behaviour (and/or, had others justify it to me). At first I was simply unwinding after five months of travelling the world. Then I was indulging in the laziness of the holidays with my family. Then I was just basking in the happiness of being reunited with my partner after several months apart. Then I was hiding from the heat (hello! +40C?! No thanks!). But now, faced with what could reasonably be another two months of unemployment as we await the processing of my work visa, enough is enough. Realistically, there are a lot of things I would like to be doing but can't because of the visa thing. These include moving to our new city and setting up our home (which we've yet to see); arranging for my life (in boxes) to be shipped here from Canada; unpacking the suitcases which made the initial trek here with me; and purchasing the items we need to live once we've vacated my mother-in-law's home. But here's the reality - there are elements of these things I CAN do right now, I just haven't forced myself to get up and do them. So, now that I've copped to this slovenly behaviour,  I know what I have to do. I'm going to start doing the work. Right now.

Scattered feathers

When I first started this blog I meant to update it on a regular basis. In the last month, however, I've been busy moving to the other side of the world, so it has kind of fallen by the wayside. Apologies - once the dust settles, I do hope to get back into a regular posting routine.

Wants v. Needs: A lesson in refusing to hide your crazy

I'm a little obsessed with personal money management. As previously mentioned, I come from a background where money was tight; thus, I have always lived with a fear of debt. I think this is a good thing - it keeps me in line and helps me to work harder for the things I want rather than behaving as though I "deserve" things. But, while I feel great about the way I choose to make financial decisions, there are definitely some people in my life who think my approach is a little crazy.

I have been a die hard fan of the television programme Til Debt Do Us Part for YEARS now. I used to watch it religiously in Canada - where it's on at least three times per day - and was thrilled when it began to air in the US directly following another favourite, The Suze Orman Show. TDDUP is hosted by money maven Gail Vaz-Oxlade (who has since begun a new series for spoiled brats, aptly titled Princess). The premise of the show is simple: concerned individuals/couples request Gail's assistance in figuring out their completely jacked-up finances. I can't get enough.

Gail places an emphasis on simple - yet incredibly important - priorities. Namely:

1. Knowing how much money you have coming in and going out;
2. Living within your means;
3. Having an aggressive (yet reasonable) plan to pay down debt;
4. Contributing to savings/retirement and an emergency fund on a monthly basis;
5. NEVER using pay advances or pay-day loans;
6. Being able to determine what is a need, and what is a want.

It's remarkable to me how many people simply do not know how to create (and stick to) a budget. I mean...seriously?? It hasn't ever occurred to you that money is a finite resource and maybe you should take some time to think about it?! Apparently not.

One of the ways in which I have managed to stay so disciplined in regards to money is through my obsessive use of spreadsheets. (Enter the crazy.) I use my budget spreadsheet in the same way others might balance a chequebook, but with a twist: in addition to recording the date of the purchase, location (i.e. store), amount paid and total remaining in my account, I also separate purchases into needs, wants, bills. I have found that a visual reminder of where my money is going is incredibly helpful - especially when one column is especially weighted at the end of the month. Now, if the act of recording such details doesn't seem crazy to you - ahhh, my peeps - bear in mind that updating my spreadsheet is often THE FIRST thing I do when I walk in the door (save for putting away groceries and greeting my spouse). I do this chiefly so I don't forget, and so I can update the running balance I have in my head so I never find myself in embarrassing "insufficient funds" situations. The final column in my budgeting spreadsheet is the "cleared" column, which I highlight when the new purchase clears my bank account. Keeping such rigid records also ensures that I monitor what goes on in my bank account very carefully, thus allowing me to contact the bank immediately if any discrepancies arise (which, trust me, they have!). Helpful on so many levels...

Now, does waiting for each purchase to clear my account mean I charge everything? No way! Debit/controlled credit (where you can use your card like a credit card but can't spend more than you have in your account) is my BFF. For several years I was fortunate to have a free chequing account which allowed unlimited transactions, making things infinitely easier to track! (Plus, I hate carrying cash for anything other than bus fare.) Lost cash is lost forever, but if you're smart with your bank card - choosing where to stash it and when to take it out - you can improve your chances of keeping your money safe. (And, if you lose it or it falls into the wrong hands, you can shut it down and file a claim with your bank. Annoying and time consuming? Sure. Worth it? I think so - it's MY money after all!)

So, how do I determine which are needs and which are wants? Common sense and honesty. I love clothes and accessories, but at this point I would be lying to myself if I said I needed any more. Therefore, any clothing/accessories purchases at the moment are purely wants. Now, if my boss came in one day and told me I needed to purchase X article of clothing, that might change things. First, I'd find out the reason why - change in protocol, etc. - and request a written copy of the new expectation. If it was something I felt was beyond what my employer could reasonably expect of me, I would probably challenge the premise and request complete or partial reimbursement (being sure to state that it was an unexpected item not accounted for in my budget). If I had to then purchase said item, I would look for the highest quality item at the best price (regardless of who was ultimately picking up the tab).

An example of this would be requiring employees in a business environment to wear khakis for more casual events. Personally, I loathe khakis, and I don't know a woman alive who looks good in them. Period. If I have to buy and clothe my body in something the colour of baby puke, at least let it be a skirt (of a respectable length). Yeck. Another favourite of mine are those ghastly polo shirts some people in my field can't seem to get enough of. You know, you can make people look respectable without also making them look completely sex/shapeless. Where are Stacy and Clinton when you need them...

Another way I determine a need v. a want is to seriously consider how purchasing the item will impact my life. Will it be useful in a way which no other item I currently own could be? Is it absolutely necessary for my immediate health/life, or is it simply something I desire? Once I've worked through those questions - and sometimes others, which I'll post as I think of them - I move onto more pressing questions such as: Can I afford it? (As in, can I pay for it right now and not worry about the remaining balance of my chequing account?) Can I get it at a better price? Sometimes the decision to purchase something I really want as opposed to need is aided significantly by my ability to get a good deal on it. Yes, sales are great, but sometimes if you wait you can't get what you're after. (Which is still better than buying something you can't afford, especially if it's a want!) Therefore, I prefer a different approach. Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce to you the most beautiful words in the English consumer language: Price. Adjustment.

Several big name retailers - particularly in the US - offer one-time price adjustments on merchandise which goes on sale within a week or two of purchase. (Stores owned by GAP Inc. are great for this - Banana Republic, Old Navy, and, of course, GAP.) No need to bring the item back with you or keep the tags on - simply present your receipt at the register within the store's stated post-purchase timeline and ask if there has been a price adjustment. If there has, you can expect to be refunded the difference on the spot in the same method you paid - cash, credit or gift card. It's just that simple! (Sometimes you get lucky and they give you cash no matter what.) Is it really worth it? I think so - as long as you're not spending more money than you get back in order to get the price adjustment (i.e. spending $3 on bus fare or petrol when the refund is only $2).

Here's an example of a time when this approach REALLY paid off.

Last year, my mum-in-law came to visit us from Australia during the crazy January sales. She shopped a lot the first week and returned home to our flat one night expressing frustration that several of the items she had purchased the previous week had since been marked down significantly. I asked her if she had kept her receipts and when she said yes, I told her to go back to each store and enquire about price adjustments. She was sceptical at first, but the next day she returned with $75 extra dollars in her pocket! Not bad, eh?!

A couple of cautions with this - since you can only do it once, you want to do whatever you can to ensure the most bang for your buck. Ask staff at the store about upcoming sales, and, if they fall within the stated timeline for a price adjustment, go back then. Make sure you know and understand each store's policy so you don't miss out - some are posted for all to see, whereas others are sneaky. Sometimes a website or customer service hotline are great places to start (especially since you don't have to show your face to do it!).

Another thing I love are promos where you get something free with purchase. Please note - this is only a great deal when it involves something you were planning to purchase anyway or genuinely NEED. Last year as the holidays were approaching I found myself in Banana Republic picking up a sweater and scarf I had been eyeing for months, waiting for a price drop. When it finally came - coupled with a store-wide 35% off "one day only!" sale, I jumped at the chance. As I was waiting in line, I saw a big sign behind the cash which said "Buy a gift certificate for $100 and get an additional gift card worth $25!" Now, since Banana is a place I regularly shop, this represented a great deal. But, I wanted more. When I approached the cash, I lowered my voice and asked the salesgirl - in my friendliest tones - if I could use a purchased gift card/bonus card directly after purchase? She said yes. So, I told her I would like to purchase a gift card. When that was done, I put my other items on the counter and used the bonus gift certificate - plus some of the money from the other card - to pay for them. She laughed a little when I did this and said, "This is technically against the rules...but, good for you!" Honestly, I have never had a salesperson turn me down for something like this. They work at a big box store - what do they care? Would I do the same at an independent store? Maybe not...but if it made good financial sense, I just might.

One last thing I do - particularly with Banana - is keep the tags on items until I actually wear them (and hold onto their corresponding receipts). That way, if I'm beyond the price adjustment period but the item goes on sale, I can easily return it and then buy it back. (This is much less cheeky if there are more of the items available in your size - otherwise you have to hang around waiting for the stock to be put back before you can pick it up again.) Is there more risk with this approach? Sure. But my desire to save as much money as possible always beats out my fear of losing the item. What can I say - I live on the edge. (Sometimes if I have a friend with me I get them to approach the cash and ask them to purchase the item after I collect my refund and walk away. Excessive? Sometimes. But it's a nice insurance policy. :)

How do YOU determine which are wants and which are needs in YOUR life?

Taking stock of STUFF

Several of my dear friends are hoarders. (OK, not by the extreme standards we've been introduced to via reality television programmes, but they do, nonetheless, have a lot of physical STUFF.) In many respects I am the opposite - while it's true that I like nice things, I am constantly looking for items I can donate (most often) or sell (which end up being given away/donated if no one wants to pay for them) so that I can live a more clutter-free existence. (My partner says he can tell when I'm calculating what to get rid of next.)

I think one of the elements involved in my obsession with downsizing is the amount of movement in my life, both professionally and personally; I have a career which (happily) requires me to move often, and a passion for travel which I love to indulge whenever my partner and I have the time and money. Through four years of undergraduate study I spent my academic terms in Canada (my home), and my summers in the United States (working). I moved to the US full-time in 2006 for graduate school and spent the following summer interning in another part of the country. After completing my master's in 2008, I took a job in Hawai`i which meant an overseas relocation (even though HI is a US state), followed by five moves in three years as required by my job.Throw in personal travel - which is neither quick nor painless when you live in the most isolated chain of islands in the world - and you can probably see why it's necessary for me to be able to move expediently and for as little money as possible.

The second element in my obsession with keeping STUFF down to a minimum is manifest in the way I choose to spend my money. I strongly believe that every physical item in our lives represents a choice. I didn't grow up in a household where we had a lot of STUFF - my parents have never owned a home, have only ever had one new car (which was driven for more than 500,000 km before being hauled to the scrap heap), and my older brother and I were never really given an allowance. (We began delivering newspapers seven days a week when we were around 8 and 10 respectively, which I think has to be one of the best jobs out there for kids. Exercise, responsibility, money management, people skills...it has it all! Or, at least, routes back then did.) When we outgrew our paper routes and were old enough to get "real" jobs, we both worked in a restaurant at night and on weekends. I got my lifeguard qualifications as soon as I was able, and added those hours to my schedule (on top of school, sports and my restaurant shifts). When I was old enough to be a summer camp lifeguard, I jumped at the chance. I also graduated high school early so I could work full time for a semester before going to university (which I paid for myself, save for $5,000 from my grandparents).

My first year of university I got enough scholarships and bursaries to cover my housing, and paid for my tuition and books with savings and loans. After that, I worked a minimum of one full time job (usually one full-time plus one part-time) until school was over - in grad school I worked three jobs simultaneously. When all was said and done, I had two honours bachelors degrees, a master's, and just over $16,500 in educational debt. (I was also very fortunate in graduate school to receive an additional $5,000 from my grandparents, which I put chiefly towards my job search. The field I'm in required me to attend conferences on the other side of the country, as well as fly to on-site interviews across Canada and the United States). I was also fortunate in that my parents and aunt purchased me a laptop between undergrad and grad school, which I still use today (six years later). I bought the desktop computer and printer I used throughout undergrad, but the technology changed so rapidly between 2002 and 2006 - coupled with the fact that I moved between countries and had to ship my belongings - that switching to a laptop was hugely helpful.

When I got out of grad school and landed my first professional position, I made a vow to get out of debt as quickly as possible. I sold many of my books, CDs and DVDs, walked EVERYWHERE (even 45 minutes each way to Wal-Mart for toothpaste) and budgeted my money like my life depended on it. I didn't buy any new clothes, go home for Christmas, or even take the bus - every cent I could scrape together went towards my debt. In addition to my regimented savings, I also benefited from the strong US dollar v. the loonie at the time - on average, one US greenback was paying out $1.13-$1.18 CDN upon exchange, which meant that the interest accruing on my loans was virtually wiped out. After nearly a year of tough-as-nails budgeting, I paid off my student loans in full. It was the most satisfying day of my life. I still have the letter which reads: "CONGRATULATIONS! Your integrated Canada Student Loan is now PAID IN FULL!" Someday, I'm going to have it framed.

Having worked from a young age, I know the value of a dollar. (Which is not to say I always spend mine wisely - we will definitely get into that.) I was incredibly fortunate to have my grandparents contribute $10,000 over six years towards my educational costs. Conversely, many people I know had their educations paid for completely by their parents and never considered working while in school (unless it was to offset the money they were spending on booze). In fact, several people I knew had parents who purchased a home in the city where they were going to school so they could live there rent-free whilst their roommates rent paid the mortgage. A smart investment? Absolutely. But did it teach their kids anything about working, saving and spending responsibly?

Because I had to work to be able to attend university, and because I come from a background where I have watched my parents struggle financially, my perspective on what constitutes "money well spent" is, generally, discernibly different from my counterparts. In essence, I know that at the end of the day there is no one to bail me out if I get into financial trouble. As such, I have developed a clear understanding of the difference between needs and wants.

Here's what I'm talking about. As someone who will turn 29 this year, I:

1. Have never owned, leased or otherwise possessed a car (though I have been a licenced driver since my sixteenth birthday);
2. Have never paid interest on a credit card (because I only ever buy things I can afford and pay the balance off immediately afterwards);
3. Do not have a fancy phone, tablet, ipod (beyond my 4G Shuffle which is 2 years old and used daily), laptop (remember, she's nearly six), GPS, bluetooth device or any other kind of fancy electronic gear (although I do have a Kindle...bought the cheapest "special offers" option and have only downloaded free books and games, and share possession on a Wii Fit Plus with my partner);
4. Don't have any habits which quietly suck away at my savings incrementally. Namely: coffee, smoking, drinking, eating out on a regular basis, etc;
5. Have no debt, good, bad or ugly. Ignored the oft-expressed "You have the rest of your life to pay off your student loans!" and tackled the beast head on to avoid the excessive interest I would have been charged by drawing out my payments. As such, I can now put that money - and more - into savings for other goals. 

What I do have are a collection of incredible experiences, all of which - save for the life-changing budget trip I took to Europe between grad school and starting work in HI - I have paid for myself. (The former was a gift from my grandparents and aunt, and I will never be able to put into words how much the experience profoundly impacted my life.)

My first order of business after paying off my student loans was to save enough to fly my parents to Hawai`i for their first ever vacation. It.Was. Awesome. They stayed with me - which helped cut down majorly on costs - and we had a great time. After that, my next goal was getting myself to the two countries I wanted to visit most in the world - New Zealand and Australia. So, I priced things out, found out about options and sales, and saved my pennies. About six months prior to my departure, I booked my trip - I got great deals on flights and insurance, arranged to stay with friends in both countries upon arrival and after I finished/before my departure back to HI, and, because I booked months in advance, booked two budget tours at once (one in each country), paid in full at time of booking and booked with the company I travelled with in Europe, I saved well over $1,000.Had I not already saved the money, I would not have been able to get such a great deal!

The same goes for the 5-month trip my partner and I just completed. We booked the portion in Africa 7 months in advance and paid in full so we could get a significant discount. We camped through the first 10 countries (60 days) with an experienced over-landing company and did two more countries on our own. We then went to Europe and visited 10 countries, again taking advantage of off-season deals, staying with friends, and sleeping in hostels/eating for cheap. We paid cash for everything and maintained significant savings for our re-entry into the working world.

In my life, I have prioritised education and experiences over physical things. Sure I have some great treasures from our travels, but I shopped smart, bartered, and only bought things we really, really wanted and couldn't get anywhere else. We have the luxury of being educated and from well-to-do countries - Canada and Australia, respectively - but we both work very hard and make good decisions with our money.We're not at the stage yet where we wish to take on the financial burden of children or a home, but if we unexpectedly found ourselves expecting tomorrow, we would be able to make it work.

STUFF is all about choices. What do you need, and what do you want? How do you determine which is which? That's what we'll talk about next. :)

A little inspiration, please

A year or so ago I heard about a global social experiment called "Six Items or Less." Basically, everyday peeps like you and I would take an online pledge to wear only six items (or less) of clothing for a period of 30 days and blog about the results. Now, before you get too weirded out about the concept, I should probably let you know that there were a few loopholes put in place to make the process more attractive/livable:

1. Underwear/socks/bathing attire and workout clothes did not count towards the six item limit. (Phew!)
2. Shoes, accessories and outerwear also did not count. (Excellent...)
3. Truly identical items - i.e. same exact colour/brand/size - were counted as only one item. (Thank YOU two pairs of Levi's skinny jeans for $22 at Ross!)

Also, any uniforms required for work or school weren't included in your total.

The "Sixers" (as they have come to be known online) were asked not to tell anyone in their lives that they were participating in the experiment until it was over, the result of which was...surprising? By and large, it seemed that no one else really noticed what the Sixers wore day in and day out - not coworkers, friends, partners, casual acquaintances, potential partners...everyone simply went on living and breathing as they had done before. Now, is it possible that some people noticed but didn't say anything? Absolutely. But does it really matter?

What most people seemed to take away from the experience was the realisation that they could do way more with way less. When forced to answer the question of what they wanted to clothe their bodies with for an entire month, each individual had to not only sit down and think seriously - probably for the first time ever - about the answer, but to live with the decision they made. And, for the most part, they did. Annoying as it was at times, those who stuck with it realised, in some small way, how much those of us in the developed world truly take for granted.

I've never done the Six Items or Less challenge myself, though I reflect on it and the wisdom gleaned by those who have on a regular basis. In a way, that's where the idea for this blog came from. Well, from there and from another concept I learned about online: New Dress A Day. This fantastic blog - which has been operating since November 2009 - is, in my opinion, the gold standard in "upcycling." Thirty-one-year old Marisa Lynch decided that as of her 30th birthday, she was going to give up "traditional" clothes shopping for 365 days. Instead of hitting the mall and blowing cash on throw-away items from her favourite stores, Marisa gave herself a budget of $365 and vowed to create a new outfit every day from craptastic thrift store finds. Intrigued? You should be. Marisa's incredible upcycled wardrobe is tailor-made to fit her unique personal style. But it gets better. Now that year one has wrapped up with undeniable success, Marisa is accepting donations from fans all over the world so that she can continue to do more with less! As someone with NO sewing skills whatsoever, I really admire her creativity and eye - and thoroughly respect that she walks readers through her reconstruction process step-by-step. If you haven't already, check it out!

But, back to this blog. :) The purpose of Every Last Feather is simple: I've reached a point in my life where it's time to take stock and make some (potentially tough) decisions. As such, over the next year I'm going to conduct what I feel is best described as a "personal inventory." Nothing is off limits, kids. In addition to physical items - mainly clothing and accessories, of which I am very, very fond - I am going to take a critical look at my habits, hobbies and relationships in the hope of becoming a happier, healthier person. Instead of buying new things, I'm going to make an effort to spend some quality time with things that already exist in my life, and truly consider what value they hold. Every last feather that makes up my life is going to be examined, with to-be-determined results.

I hope you'll join me.